I AM......the Artisan

Well, you can all thank my lovely sister, Lisette, for this one. For my birthday she sent me a book called Artisan Bread in Five Minutes a Day. When I opened it, my inital thought was, "Yeah Right, like I'll ever be able to do this." I have never made REAL bread before. Any bread I make calls for tons of sugar, tubs of icing or at the very least a banana. I don't even own a bread machine! (amazing how this One-Time use Christmas gift seemed to pass me by) Then, they don't even want me to use a pan? Free-Form??? Yikes! Anyways, after two weeks I finally relented and picked up the book. After reading the first few pages, I was like Great Balls of Flour! this is gonna be easy..... and delicious. So, armed with my dough hook and my shiny new pizza peel I set to work crafting the "Master Loaf". I am now officially licensed to freely use words like "gluten-cloak" and know what I'm talking about! It was so easy and looked amazing. Unfortunately, it is not pictured here though, because at the very minute that it came out of the oven, Rob got home. I am not sure what happened next....I remember a clattering of silverware, a grab for the butter dish and then it all went dark. When the flour finally settled he AND the loaf were gone...Loosen your belts, I've got more dough!

Monkey See, Monkey Do.....Monkey Pie?

Although I am an avid baker, I have never made a simple recipe for Monkey Bread before. The hardest part really is just catching the monkeys. Well, last night Rob "extracted" Cole for a 1-on-1, so to squelch the "That's not fair..." uproar from the others, I told them that they could make some Monkey Bread. So Blake, Abbey, Kasey and I donned our aprons and got up to our elbows in cinammon and sugar. I let the twins do almost all of the work. Abbey got to use a sharp knife, while Blake wielded a "not as lethal" pizza cutter for cutting up our biscuits. I warned Abbey that she had to be VERY CAREFUL. Fingers don't grow back, you know...Blake, being the caring brother, assured her that if she were to cut off her finger that he knows a place where they have "extras" and they would fix her up. (Last month the twins were with Rob at Wright & Filipis Medical Supply. The owner found out that Rob was a Dr. and offered to give he and the kids a tour of the "back", this includes all the prosthetics, etc.. Creep-Out!) But no fingers were lost. The only injury was when Kasey whacked me in the knee with an enormous wooden spoon. Rob and Cole arrived home just in time for the unveiling. Then everyone sat around the table with big glasses of milk and monkey-ed it up! It was so good in fact, that Cole snuck down after bedtime and asked "Where the Monkey Pie was?" and sneaked a knub up to bed with him. Disclaimer: No real monkeys were harmed in the baking of this bread.....

Burn, Baby, Burn....

On Saturday I spent the day at the Grace Baptist Ladies Event. It was a wonderful day. I attended 3 sessions: Organizing Basics, Pottery Painting and You May Or May Not Make It Out of Here Alive (a.k.a. Soap Making). Let me just say that I only signed up for Soap Making because my other friend wanted to be in it, but of course, she didn 't end up being in my class.... The first sign of trouble was when Nancy and I looked into the classroom window and saw lots of safety goggles and rubber gloves. She says, "Huh...Looks like a high school science lab in there". I agree, but am more concerned about the fashion disaster that I am in safety goggles and the permanent notch that they leave embedded in the top of my nose. So I go into the class, find my station and look down at all my materials, which, to my delight..., include something with a huge SKULL AND CROSS BONES Label attached. Oh, Brother..... Lye, people, it's Lye. Burning, irritation, don't inhale....and I was wearing my good jeans! The class proceeds and we all stand around stirring our "buckets o'death" when it is time to decide what type of scent the soap will be. There were 3 choices, we all had to make the same scent, so we voted. Cucumber Melon won. Totally Fair....but not for some. I am telling you that an absolute brawl almost broke out between a number of "older" church ladies. It was getting pretty ugly. All the while I am standing there smiling and thinking, "You are going to go home and rub this on your "nether-regions" surely anything smells better than that!" Finally, we were able to talk-down the fiestiest of ladies by just letting her smell the other choices. That seemed to work. I made it out in one piece with my 2-lb bar of Cucumber Melon soap and was able to cut it up last night. Now it has to dry, but will be ready for human consumption, I mean, usage, in 5 weeks. Mark your calendar people, shower at my house!

Mmm...Don't you just love the smell of fresh rubber in the morning?

My crusade against mud and dirt continues... I don't always like to let the kids out in the yard right away in the Spring time because the ground is so wet. It's not that I mind washing their shoes...It's just that incessant banging in the dryer, so that they will be dry for school the next day, that I can't stand. (Note: the shoes are in the dryer, not the kids) So, in honor of Spring and our wet, icky yard, the kids have all earned brand new pairs of rain boots. Stylish aren't they? Although this makes them candidates for their very own episode of "What Not to Wear", the kids all seem very excited about their new footwear. Abbey wore hers the entire first day that I brought them home, even with her nightgown. Cole and Blake continue to wear their's on the wrong feet, no matter how many times I show them. And Kasey, who is new to walking herself, looks like a little bow-legged cowboy, who has had 1 too many...if you know what I mean...

Out of Africa....In with the DIRT!!

Well he made it home safe and sound. Blake and I went down to Detroit on Saturday to meet Rob's plane and bring him home, while Abbey, Cole and Kasey stayed home and made the Welcome Home posters. Oh, we brought him all right, along with a ton of African dirt which seems to be on EVERYTHING! It's this "orangeish" clingy dirt from whence there is no escape. It is particularly bad on the inside ankles of his pant legs, even after repeated scrubbings. I have pulled out my arsenal of laundry cleaning supplies and my trusty copy of "How to Clean Practically Anything", but was unable to find a listing for Uber-Clingy African Orange Dirt. Oh, well. The amazing experience he had in Galmi was definitely worth a couple pairs of Dockers. I have really enjoyed hearing about his time there. He came home bearing great gifts, as well as some fantastic pictures. Well, I've gotta get back to that dirt. My next attempt involves a secret recipe I have concocted that includes a bottle of Resolve, some Drain-O, Lemon Juice and a small flame thrower. Don't want to give too much away...I'll let you know how it turns out.

Curious Cole and his identity crisis...

Cole has been a curious little fellow this week. The conversations I have with him are so funny, but often make me wonder...

Tangent Alert:

In my toothbrush holder I have one of those Reach Flossers, you know, "floss on a stick". Let me just say that I have it there just so people will THINK I am dedicated to flossing, however, I am not. I may in fact be the world's worst flosser. This "floss on a stick" is supposed to make it more convenient for me and the other anti-flossers out there, but alas...it does not. (tsk...tsk...from Kara, I know).

Now back to Cole:

As I am getting ready the other day Cole comes into the bathroom and we have the following exchange:

Cole: Hey Mom. What is this?

Me: It's for your teeth. It cleans between them, like a toothbrush.

Cole: Hmm? Does it pick your teeth out?

Me: No, just between them.

Cole: I want to pick all my teeth out with this, so that I will grow big teeth and talk like a MAN!

Me: Ouch....

Another day this week, Cole came through and said:
Cole: What is that black thing on your leg?
Me: That's a tattoo.

Cole: A Ta-Poo?

Me: No, a tattoo.

Cole: Did you get it at the tattoo place, where they put tattoos on your legs?

Me: Yes.

Cole: When I get big, I am going to go to the tattoo place and get a tattoo so that I can be a GIRL!

Me: No...No...

The Magical Mystery Shower

We have 2 showers in the house. The new downstairs shower, which is MINE, and then the main level shower, which now belongs to the kids. The children get a little leary and seem to scatter when it's bath time, because they know it is going to be a "crap-shoot". Yes, we call it "Crap-Shoot Shower" (not THAT type of crap, the Vegas kind...). The water in this shower has a mind of it's own. No matter how I adjust it, it will randomly change while I am washing the kids. I mean, of course you can set it to either Arctic Blast or Boiling Lava, but anything in between is a risk. I have made sure that the washer is off, no toilets are flushed, etc...but it doesn't matter. So when the kids get in, we usually start with a little jingle, that goes like this, "Will it be hot? Will it be cold? That's the mystery...nobody knows". And then we begin...There is the usual shower lingo, "My eyes! My eyes!" and "Do I have to wash everywhere?", but then comes the "HOT, HOT, HOT!!" and everyone runs screaming to the other end of the tub while I try to readjust. It's such a pain and I feel bad....but it's just a little bit funny too.....

I triple dog dare you....

Oooooh Yeah....I've still got it! After the birthday Sunday night, Abbey still had enough energy to repeatedly try to do a handstand. She'd go up and then back down, up and then back down and she would count as fast as she could the whole time. It was funny to watch her. When she saw me watching, she said she bet I couldn't do it, because I was "big". Challenge Extended....Now it was ON..... like Donkey Kong. Challenge Accepted....

So I proceeded to "Wow" the kids with a few acrobatic feats, while they cheered me on. For the grand finale my mom and I reenacted the Dirty Dancing "Lift". The part of Patrick Swayze being played by Omi. Unfortunately, that left no one to take the picture. It was great. We had the time of our lives....

Super-Duper Double Birthday Fun!

Yesterday was the twin's birthday. They turned 6 years old. The time goes by so fast that I could hardly believe it, so I had to count my stretch marks just to be sure (like growth rings on a tree). Sure enough...they are 6. We had a fantastic M & M's theme party at the Saginaw Children's Museum. They played a number of games, made crafts, ate some fun food and also got to enjoy all the museum exhibits. Needless to say Omi and I were exhausted by the days end, but it was well worth it. Fun was had by all. We only had one cryer (not mine) and one party etiquette blunder (unfortunately mine....) "Mom, we already have this game!!"repeat...repeat...repeat...).

Check out my Facebook for more great party pics!

Good Times...Great Friends!

Not only is Omi in town this week, but so are some other great friends of ours. Jerel has been a lifelong friend of Rob's. He has been in Saginaw for the past month doing a rotation at the hospital. Lisa, Baby Samuel and Joyce (wife, son, mother) have recently joined him to do some house hunting, as they will be moving here in June. We have been able to spend alot of time together and it has been loads of fun. Bonus: Omi and Joyce haven't seen each other for about 6 years, so they had a wonderful time catching up, while the rest of us tended to all the children....So last night was one final visit before they are off to North Dakota tomorrow. The night went fine until a small fight, then chase ensued, but I was FASTER and was able to get away with my mixing bowl/spoon and throw together a 1/2 batch of peanut butter blossoms to enjoy before they left! I'm telling you...it's a sickness.....

Omi's Back in Town...

Can I get a "whoop! whoop!"? There was excitement at the house today as we anxiously awaited the arrival of my mom, Omi, from Iowa. She has come to visit and help out while Rob is away. Omi always arrives with this big basket of treats and surprises for the whole family. It is so fun to watch her hand out everyone's goodies. Some of the top favorites this time are a magnetic map (includes Africa), glitter twirling batons (which will inevitable turn into swords) and a can of easy spray cheese. This "easy cheese" seems of great interest to Cole, who managed to get away with it last night. Fortunately, I found him before he could get into it with some child safe scissors (good luck with that...) I am sure we will have a wonderful time during her visit. She is always such a tremendous help to me. You know, even mommies, need their mommies sometimes...

A pair of jeans that fits just right...

Have you heard the song "Chicken Fried" by the Zac Brown Band? Well, I like it. It makes me smile everytime I hear it. There is a line in the chorus that says "...a pair of jeans that fits just right..and the radio on..". Apparently my 3 year old son likes it too. Today he came into the kitchen with his little Levi's almost on and says to me, "Hey Mom! Here's MY pair of jeans that fits just right. Can we have fried chicken for dinner?" I about fell in the floor laughing. I will admit that we are a "Crank It, Rock It and Dance in the Kitchen" family, but I honestly didn't think that he'd had much exposure to this song. Just goes to show...they are ALWAYS listening...

Happy Birthday Dr. Seuss!

Turns out that today is Dr. Seuss's Birthday. Any excuse to party, you know. The kid's celebrated at school with a Read-a-thon, R.I.F., popcorn and their principal dressed in full Cat in the Hat regalia..which I will say was a little disturbing to Abbey, who was then worried that "the cat" was in our garage when we got home. Well, we just couldn't let the fun end there so we did a little celebrating of our own at home. Ta-Da! Look at our delicious green eggs and ham! Abbey helped with the cooking and plating, while the boys just hopped around the kitchen screaming, "Sam I am! Sam I am! Sam I am!" Good Times....

Hey, Wait a Second...That's not Fun Dip!

I have a small addiction.....Nothing illegal or potentially life threatening, but an addiction nontheless. On Valentine's Day Rob came home with this economy box of Fun Dip. Apparently he insisted that some poor soul venture into the bowels of the Rite-Aid stockroom in search of a brand new, unopened box. He then set to work checking for full "stick-stability"...I hate it when the sticks are broken..... So he brings home this box and I am thinking "Oh Boy" and was perfectly satisfied with my Valentine's gift. Well, over the last week Rob has been insistant, almost to the point of annoyance, that I eat the Fun Dip faster. I'm thinking...geez, it's not bad enough that you're an enabler, but just give me a couple days...Finally, on Friday night, he couldn't take it any longer and had me rummage through the box. My real Valentine gift was a gift certificate for a massage, buried within the Fun Dip. He was so worried that it would get lost while he was gone on his trip. He also acted mildly offened that I thought that all he would get me for Valentine's Day was the candy!