Things that go bump in the night....over and over and over again.....

There are some things in life that are just so horrible at the time, that it takes weeks to fully recover and be able to blog about them again, with the appropriate sense of humor, of course. I recently experienced such an event and only now feel like enough time has passed to really find it funny.

Here's what happened.......

Cole turned 4 at the end of August and that's when the trouble started. About a week after his birthday, he just stopped sleeping, really. He wouldn't refuse to go to bed, he just started getting up ALL NIGHT LONG. I mean, we are talking 9-11 times a night. Sometimes he would make up excuses and ask for silly things as an explanation of why he was up. Other times he would just stand at the bottom of the steps and whine. He never said he was scared or sick, he had simply turned into a little insomniac. This behavior was extremely puzzling to me because it came from out of nowhere. He has been sleeping in the same room, under the same circumstances for over 2 years and suddenly THIS!!! (Side Note: Of all my pet peeves, and I have 4, Regression, of any kind is my hardest to handle. It makes me absolutely insane if I know that someone is capable of something, but they stop doing it...grrr....)

This went on for 18 nights straight. Yes, I said 18! Even after the first few nights, I was crazy. And obviously if we aren't getting any sleep during the night, you can imagine how BOTH of our behavior was during the day. That's all I'll say about that......
Rob's answer was for me to ignore him and put in earplugs. Let me just say this about Rob, he is a Champion Sleeper. If sleeping was an Olympic Sport, he would medal in all three positions. Nothing can wake him, not even the sound of his own roaring, I mean snoring..... So, of course, it is easy for him to ignore. I, on the other hand, have the Mommy-Sense and so I hear EVERYTHING.

I read several books on sleep behavior, talked to the pediatric nurse and tried several different techniques during this 18 night span, without much luck. Finally, we went in to the doctor with our sleep logs...that's right, I was keeping a log.....it was that bad. As expected, the doctor said that it was a phase (which we knew) and that Cole would just have to relearn to stay in his bed at night. Not that I wanted anything to be medically "wrong" with him, but if it was something (immediately) cureable, I would be open to a few choice syndromes.......We were about to leave, dejected and hopeless,when the doctor uttered the magic word....Melatonin, sweet, sweet Melatonin. A pill. A pill you say? You have a pill that might work for this? Give Me, Give Me, I Need, I Need!!

Here's the part where you can judge me and I won't care.....

It worked! We drugged that boy down and it worked! Yeah for Drugs! Natural or FDA approved. Give me a D-R-U-G-S, what does that spell? "RELIEF"!

We used the melatonin for a few weeks and it was very helpful. It seemed to get him back into a normal sleeping pattern. Cole still gets up once or twice a night to use the bathroom, but he doesn't cry, whine or hang around the bottom of the stairs. And that is good enough for me!

On a serious note (well, I'll try). Thank you to all of the friends and family that were extremely supportive during this incident. There were several motivational calls, suggestions and offers to keep kids and it really meant a lot.

September/October Hiatus

Please forgive my recent Blogging Hiatus. Although rumors have circulated for weeks that I succumed to the Swine Flu, joined Witness Protection or that a particular Mafia Hitwoman took me out. Rumors are just that.....rumors. The truth is actually a lot worse than that. I was suffering from a severe (and contagious) case of "No Sense of Humoritis", brought on by sleep deprivation and the general unrulyness of my four year old son.

It was a dark, dark time......

The good news is, I'm surfacing and with new material, no less. Nothing is funnier than your own personal disasters,......a few weeks after the fact.

Ode to The Perfect Family Getaway and Other Mythical Creatures.....

Every year around this time, we use Cole's Birthday as an excuse to get away for a quick family weekend trip. For whatever reason, we always end up in the Grand Rapids area, doing a lot of the same stuff we do here, just there. Children's Museum, Zoo, Etc... However, this year with the kids all being a little older and TALLER we were able to add some extra fun to our trip. But even the best laid plans.......

First: A ginormous "Shout Out" to Jerel, Lisa and Samuel, who so kindly kept Kasey for us all weekend, so we could be a little more free....

We got the party started on Friday afternoon by dropping Kasey off in Flint, pinned Cole with 2 "Birthday Boy" Buttons (for maximum free meal/dessert exposure) and then headed west. The car ride was fine. The kids watched a movie, snacked on the sugar-fest that I had brought and drank their weight in juice boxes. So far, so good. We arrived at our hotel around 6 and I went to check in. I was quite excited as I had scored a "Free Friday" deal online, which allowed us 2 nights in a River -Side Room for the price of one. When I made my way up to the front desk, I had a mild moment of panic when I saw the sign that said "Pool Closed for Maintenance". I was mere seconds from pulling the fire alarm and screaming "Abort! Abort!" when the lady at the front desk assured me that it would be open within a couple of hours, it was being shocked. (I didn't even ask what had happened in there.....)We proceed to check-in and then take the elevator up a few floors to our River-Side room. A small scuffle ensues around the door as the kids fight about who gets to use the magical card to open the door, but then we are in. Looks fine. I stroll over to the window and throw back my curtain and my breath is taken away, when I behold.....the black tar roof of the pool room....and that's all.... Children, put your hands in the air and back out slowly, DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING! I herded everyone back down to the front desk and politely (they get this option once) asked for a different room. They obliged and we went back up to our sixth floor room which gave us not only a view of the river, but a bonus view/audio of the drunk, dancing, karaoking "Cougars". Let's go eat kids....

Dinner was at Steak and Shake. The kids really enjoyed it paper hats and classic cruisers for all. We came back to the room and had cupcakes and presents for Cole and the rest of the evening went off without a hitch. And that was the end of the first day.....

Now, you know I'm a planner. I'm good at planning, it's one of my strengths. What I'm not good at is having my plans altered....in any way. So when we got up bright and early Saturday morning to start our day of outdoor activities and it was raining, well let's just say, everyone at my house knows to brace themselves. Rob insisted that we go ahead with Phase 1 of our day and just see how it goes. Did I mention that Phase 1 is a one-hour horseback ride? Even with the rain, the kids were thrilled. They all got their own horses, even little Cole, and we all trotted along in the pouring rain. Cole took the lead, followed by Rob, then the twins and I brought up the rear on my lovely horse named "Fury". Oh the irony...will it never cease....Rob refused to turn around and look at me throughout the entire ride. I think he knew that actual fire would shoot from my eyes if he did. However, being a good mommy, I did let out the obligatory Yee-Haw and Looking Good Comments for the kid's sake during the ride. When the ride was over, we spent the next few minutes by the side of some country road changing everyone into dry clothes, well almost everyone. Somehow, there were no dry clothes for Rob (It's the little victories that really matter, people.)

Since the rain hadn't stopped we decided not to go on to Michigan Adventure, which had been Phase 2 of the plan. Instead we headed back into Grand Rapids for Lunch at Logan's, some shopping, Chuck E Cheese, and hotel swimming. When people started to get hungry, I ventured out for pizza, only to return and find Rob laying on the bed not feeling good. My only thought is, "who is gonna eat all this pizza?". Anyways, I get the kids situated on the floor with their slices and drinks and just as I was about to sit down ,Blake says "I'm gonna be sick!" and then he was. All the way from one side of the room to the other, and all over the bathroom. You have got to be joking...Now, I don't mind vomit, I am actually a pro at cleaning up all child and animal bodily emmissions. But honestly, when I am in a hotel with 2 non-absorbent towels, how am I supposed to handle this? So I call down to the desk, explain and thankfully they had another room. Rob took the kids on down while I try to semi-pack and move-out of the room. It took a while. And that was the end of the second day....

Sunday was much better. It wasn't raining so we headed up to Michigan's Adventure. We did have to make a quick Wal-Mart stop on the way to reoutfit everyone in new hoodies, etc.. as all was still wet from the horseback ride the day before and it was a little cool. The day went great. The twins were tall enough to ride just about everything, so Rob and I took turns going around with Cole to all of his rides. Everyone had a good time, but were ready to go home at days end. We stopped off in Flint and picked up Kasey and made it home around 10:40 p.m. We didn't bother to unpack, we just threw the kids into bed and we had our lights out by 11:00. When asked the next day what their favorite part of the trip was, the kids promptly replied "swimming at the hotel! ". It figures.....

Check out my Facebook Page for the other trip photos!

Hold on...This is a dental cubical, not a clown car!

There are just certain things you shouldn't do, but you do them because you have to.....For example, taking more than one child to any medical/dental appointment. I would even be fine with taking NO children with me, if it were at all possible to have the procedures done vicariously through me. Poke me, scrape me, clean me, whatever, just don't make me bring my kids....And honestly, it's not even about "crowd control" anymore, it's more about "crowdedness" these days.

So last Monday was Dentist Day. Now as many of you know there is an extreme amount of thought and preparedness that goes on before we even leave the house. Diaper bag: Check, Activity Bag for the olders: Check, Arsenal of Snacks and Juice: Double Check, (My Mind: Uhh, can't find it...Guess I'll go without it....)

O.K. we are out the door. First stop, drop Cole off at the Y-Camp and then fall to my knees thanking God that these appointments fell on a day when I had "1 less". Second Stop, Tim Horton's, where I shamelessly paraded myself and the other 3 kids in to get our Free Blueberry Donuts to go! That's right, we don't tend to pass up a freebie, even when they are whining in the car, "we don't even like blueberry", quiet...Daddy will eat them! Then off to the dentist for Blake and Abbey's appointments.

Upon arrival, the receptionist sees that it is "us" and quickly calls for an assist. It is now up to me and our dental tech to wrangle the 3 wheeled jogging stroller, complete with baby inside, up the steps and around all the other cubicles until we arrive at ours. Abbey promptly assumes the position in the chair, while Blake is stuffed around the corner to repeatedly peruse and open everything in the "prize chest". Then the rest of us cram ourselves in and let the cleaning begin. The whole event is a bit of a human puzzle and we shuffle around repeatedly during the process.

Tech-Me-Ginormous Stroller w/Baby....oops, now the tech needs out....

Me-Ginormous Stroller w/Baby-"Blake, get out of here!"-Tech....... and so it goes. Then we do it all over again with Blake in the chair and Abbey stuffed in the corner.

And for the grand finale, the actual dentist comes in. (Our dentist may in fact be the TALLEST dentist in the tri-city area, if not the world....) So he has the advantage of simply stepping over all the rest of us and wedges himself in between the chair and the tech, takes a look and we are good to go. Did I mention that I spent a large portion of the teeth cleaning, feeding Kasey multiple sugary snacks to keep her occupied...no?....well, I DID! AND RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE DENTIST! Finally, we were done. Hey kids! Who wants another donut?

Okay, Okay. Now this time you be Watson and I'll be Sherlock.....

We were robbed! That's right....pilfered, ripped off, rifled, pillaged....call it what you want. It happened to us! Last Saturday I went out to my truck to load the kids up to go somewhere. I can't remember exactly where we were going, but chances are it was Wal-Mart. Anyhow, I go to get in and I see that my center console is open.....hmmm.....This reminds me of a conversation that I had with Rob earlier that day, in which he asked me if I had been in HIS center console and left it open. (And no I hadn't. He has moved his "quarter stash" to a new hiding place so I have no need to look in there anymore.) So when I notice my console is open, I get that sick feeling and start to look around my truck. The first thing I notice is that my GPS is missing....disaster! (By now, everyone out there should know what my first thought was "Yikes, I'm gonna be in trouble....again..." Just go ahead and tack this on to my list of "careless" behaviors (I had left it unlocked) and let the shaming begin! As a side note, I don't really get "in trouble", it's just that look that he gives me. You know the one, a mingling of disappointment and frustration, along with a dash of "I told you so"....Yep, that'll do it...

Alright, so the GPS is gone, and fortunately that was all. They apparently weren't interested in the binder of Disney DVD's on the dash or the DVD player. And Thank God they didn't take the time to pry the t.v. screens out of the seat backs (this would surely have ellicited a response greater than "the look"). Rob was out with one of the other kids, so I had ample time to writhe around in my self-loathing and prepare my story.....Which wasn't so much a story as it was a confession, with "but remember the time you....."tagged on the end.

So, Rob gets home. I tell, I get "the look" and then we put on our masks and capes and spring into crime fighting action. I go out to the shed and grab the GPS box, complete with original packaging and receipt from 2 years ago (oh yes, I'm THAT good..) The babysitter arrives and we set off to troll the local pawn shops to reclaim what is rightfully ours! Cue the Law & Order theme song. So I direct him to the closest pawn shop and we make a plan. The plan has 2 parts. Part 1:Rob goes in, looking as ghetto as possible, and expresses a casual interest in their GPS selection to see if ours is among them. So with a slight drop of the pants and a swivel of his hat, he was ready to go. Part 2 of the plan involved me NOT going in..Rob's thought was that I would surely give us up by squealing, "That's mine! That's mine! That's mine!" before we had time to call the COPS. Good Plan. While Rob was in the pawnshop, I anxiously wait in the truck, giving my mom the play by play over the cell phone. I thought it would be wise for someone else to know where we were in case anything "went down". He comes back out and asks for the box. So this means it's in there, now he is going to go in and prove it is ours by matching the serial numbers. The store owners agree that, yes, it is obviously ours AND they even know who dropped it off. We still had to call the police to come out and make a report. We were unable to take it that day, but the pawnshop was ordered to put a hold on it until it went through the proper channels. Today the officer called me and told me that he had spoken to the suspect who, of course, denies having taken it....Apparently he found it by a fence on the corner of some downtown streets. Yeah, that's right, I must have forgotten to grab my GPS when I was done "working" that corner last weekend. Oh Please.....

However, this "innocent" suspect agreed to payback the $65.00 bucks that the pawnshop had given him for it, so that they would then release it to us. What a considerate "non-thief". Now, I don't know about you, but if I didn't take it, I ain't paying! ......guilty......He said that he didn't want any trouble.

Go Lock Your Vehicles, people... before you get "the look"....

Yes, As a Matter of Fact, We Are VBS Junkies.....

Oh, Vacation Bible School, how we love thee.....The matching shirts, the repetitive theme songs, and the crafts...oh, the crafts....That's right, we can't get enough around here. Just hand my kids a popsicle stick crucifix and slap a kool-aid mustache on 'em and they're happy! We are currently, simultaneously in Rounds 2 and 3 of our VBS-ing for this year and IT'S ONLY JUNE!!

The twins kicked things off last week with a Space themed VBS at Grace Baptist. Good Time. As a service project the Boys vs. Girls had to bring in T-shirts to donate to (as Abbey said "Some kids in a place called Turkey who don't have ANY clothes"). So we would rummage through the closets eveyday when they got home and pull out a couple shirts. I think it's funny how my children suddenly became very attached to their Library Summer Reading shirts from 3 years ago. "Are you kidding me? You've worn that like 1 time.....and that was for a photo-op..." Whatever. They also engaged in the usual "offering challenge". So, of course before we left every morning, I would send them off to the depths of the sofa to get some offering.....and no, apparently petrified french fries don't count....The week ended with a nice song and dance number and pizza for all!

Since we had so much fun, we thought that this week we would kick it up a notch and go for 2-a -day! Oh yes....We have Holy Cross (finally, something for Cole....) in the mornings and Hopevale in the evenings. The Hopevale Bible Camp has turned into a whole family affair...Rob and I are "Guides" for one of the 1st grade groups and all of the kids are campers. Even little Kasey has a matching T-shirt and a class. Our neighbor girl, Adison, has been coming with us to both VBS's too.

The car rides to and from have really been rockin'. We have dubbed my truck the VBS Party Bus, fully equipped with both snacks and a CD of all the VBS music!! So every morning, we crank it up and rock it out. I love the loud music and all the singing kids, the tricky part for me is doing all the hand motions (while driving). I have found though that if I put down my driver's side window, it makes it a bit easier.....there's more room for all the flailing....

As for the photo....I don't always let my kids out like this. Only on special occasions, like Wacky Hair Night!

P.S. In the days between the time that I started writing this post and actually posting it, Cole was kicked out of the Holy Cross VBS.......ugh, the disgrace.....

Things are always funnier the next day....when you're conscious....

So, I had a bit of an episode yesterday......

I got up early yesterday morning to begin the meal preparations for the day. As it was Father's Day I was going to bang open a tube of refrigerated cinnamon rolls for Rob's breakfast, but later redeem myself by presenting him with a full turkey dinner for lunch. (Rob's favorite food is "Thanksgiving"). Stop #1 the tea kettle. Gotta have the tea....So I fill it up and turn it on. Stop #2 the bathroom. As I was "bathrooming" I began to feel a little funny, I was certain that I was either going to throw up or faint, neither of which scare me, I just like to get "in position" for either occurrence. I quickly finish and decide, fainting, yes....definitely a fainting feeling. So I lay myself down on the nice cool bathroom floor (Just to give you a visual: I am taller than our upstairs bathroom is long or wide....so it was more of a curling around the toilet and the dog dishes position...) I lay there for a couple minutes and begin to feel better just in time for the kettle to start whistling. Now, it is imperative that I reach the tea kettle and silence it immediately because I DON'T WANT THE KIDS UP YET (I wanted to at least get my potatoes peeled for pete's sake....)
Well, I remember being in the kitchen and reaching for the stove, but turns out I didn't make it. When I "came to" there was both a horrible ringing in my ears from smacking the back of my head on the tile floor, coupled with the incessant whistling from that stupid kettle! Once I realized what had happened, my first thought (of course) is I DON'T WANT THE KIDS UP YET...MUST GET TO THE KETTLE......and I tried again.....and failed.....However, this time I managed to spin around and smack my face flat on the small carpeted step (thank God for small favors) Oh...and did I mention that Rob wasn't home. He had left earlier to round at the hospital.

All the thumping and the whistling must have finally woke the kids, because this time when I "came to" they were up (and the kettle was still whistling).

Now here's the funny part....

Cole and Blake were in the living room watching cartoons. In order for them to be in the living room, they would have had to step over my unconscious body......Abbey emerged from the bathroom and I had her turn off the kettle and get me the phone so I could call Rob. I then called for all the children to assemble around my sprawled and bruised body and proceeded to have the "911" or "Call Daddy" Lesson again. I told them that "THIS" is a perfect example of a time to do so....

So anyways, Rob came home and insisted that we go to the ER. By this time I was feeling OK, but he made me. Kimiko was kind enough to come over and watch the kids while I unwillingly went for my blood work, ekg, chest x-ray, and cat scan. Not that I really want something to be wrong with me, but when you do all of that and then they say "everything is fine", "just take it easy"(yeah right) it's kind of frustrating.....So yes, I am fine, some pain in the head/face/shoulders. If anything I am suffering from a severe case of Father's Day Food Guilt.....We got Arby's/Quizno's on the way home from the hospital and then rounded out the day with a frozen pizza around 9:30....Nicely done, Kyleen!

I can do a Tuesday at.., oh wait no, How about a Friday at..., nope, nope...

The last couple of weeks has found me slightly behind on the blogging, but with good reason. With summer upon us, I have been obsessed with setting up the activity calendar for the next few months. I tend to be rather organized (Rob would say "freakishly so..."), but with four kids and a husband, I find that my sanity demands it! There are so many great things that the kids (and I) want them to be a part of, it's just a matter of coordinating the times and days. So out come the calendars and the color coded pens and I'm off! Soccer Camp, Go! Y-Camp, Go! VBS x 4, Go! T-Ball, Swimming Lessons, Weddings, Go, Go, Go!!! I can't be stopped!

The calendars in the photo are my "on the go" set. There is a GIANT replica of these on the back of my kitchen door for everyone's viewing pleasure...Again, Rob has tried to help by suggesting some sort or electronic organizer/calendar thing, but I decline. I need to see the "whole" picture at the same time and in "human-size" font.

Anyhow, after endlessly pouring over schedules and calendars and assorted multi-colored fliers it all came together in the end. There were only a few "over-laps", one heated telephone exchange, a small monetary bribe and I still owe someone at the Saginaw Township Parks Office a pie......but it will be worth it, right??

And that's why I love him.....well, among other reasons...

Some of you may not know this, but Rob is a little bit psychic.....at least when it comes to me and my moods. You could chalk it up to 14 years of experience, but I prefer to see it as a "gift". To assist him in his "readings" he doesn't use the traditional crystal ball or magic eight ball for that matter. Instead, he gazes long and hard into the stainless steel tea kettle and just "knows" it's gonna be one of those days....

I confess, I'm a heavy drinker, tea drinker that is....and Rob knows that nothing starts my day off better than a molten mug of Lipton Tea. He also knows that I tend to get a little (ha!) stressed out from time to time and likes to leave me little notes to encourage me for the day to come. He has found that the best place to leave his messages is within arms reach of the tea kettle. Today's was especially cute and I thought I would share it with you. Not only did he leave me the "Have a wonderful day!" note, but instead of my usual teabag, he layed out "Great Day Tea", along with a dose of "Patience" to sweeten it. (You may have to enlarge the picture to read the packets)

**Please pay no attention to the fingerprinted teapot or the grimey looking stovetop...I'm only one person you know...oh, and you can thank me later for turning the mug upside down, to spare you from seeing the unsightly "tea-rings"....

On tonight's menu.....CARROTS!!!

As I mentioned last week, it was Abbey's turn at the eye doctor on Thursday. As expected, she did a great job during the exam, very cooperative and interested. She made sure to tell the Dr. that although, she may not be able to see the letters on the wall, she still "knew" all of her letters. (Such a perfectionist!) Sure enough, Abbey needs glasses too! She had a good time trying several pairs on and they will be ready for pick up next week. Now for the self-pity: What kind of mother am I that 2 of my kids have been walking around, practically blind, and I had no idea?! Well anyways to try to thwart any further ocular degeneration, I have been tinkering with a few recipes.... carrottarts, carrot McNuggets (my kids will eat anthing that has the word "Mc" in front of it and can be slathered in ketchup), carrot cream pie, carrots on a bun, carrotcicles...you get the idea...But while I work out the kinks, I have Cole and Kasey hooked up to a carrot juice IV drip just to be safe....

Oh.....Surface Wash Only.....

Don't you love it when you're unloading the washer and find money in the bottom? Yeah....Free Money! But don't you hate it when you get down to the bottom and find your cell phone.....I'll admit that with as much laundry as I do, I still tend to wash "unwashables" quite frequently. Fortunately I am able to fix, hide or replace most of these without anyone knowing, other times I am not so lucky. Some of my latest laundering misshaps have been Rob's passport, upon his return from Africa. (Still recognizable, but will have to be replaced.) Rob's CompactFlash card. (Now this is a true story of survival, it made it through the washer AND the dryer and is still functioning properly....Surprise Honey!) And most recently MY cell phone, which did not fare so well. I am not usually a believer in Karma, but I may make an exception in this case...Rob calls it carelessness, but I prefer to call it being preoccupied.

Anyways, when I found my poor, lifeless phone at the bottom of it's watery grave, my first thought was..."huh...so that's why it didn't ring when I called it earlier" (I do this on a daily basis just to find my cell phone). My next thought was, "ugh...I'm gonna be in trouble....again...."Lucky for me we had a babysitter last night so I was able to out myself with a witness present. I told her that if she needed to reach us this evening, she would have to call Rob's cell phone, as mine had met an untimely end...Poor Rob, he has been waiting for months for me to give in and want an Iphone, so that he can give me his and get the "newer" Iphone. I am anti-texting, picture taking, coffee-making with a phone (I just want to speak to you)....so I don't feel like I need one. Today's episode only strengthens my case. I don't think it would survive for long....Oh well, gotta run, my DVD just popped out of the toaster....mmm....crispy!

The blind leading the blind...

Well, if there is any type of legacy that I am certain to leave with my children, unfortunately, it will be poor eyesight. Yep, that's right....Blake got glasses, and apparently REALLY needed them! Last week when I dropped into Blake's class to say hi to Mrs. Rio, she mentioned that he was having trouble seeing the whiteboard and the overhead. I told her that I hadn't noticed because my children sit 2 inches from the T.V. whether they can see it or not, so how would I know? I thanked her for letting me know and came right home (had a small private episode of mom guilt. Complete with tears.) and made an appointment. So yesterday was THE day. Blake was really excited to go, as I had pepped him up for it. (I don't like my kids to be afraid of doctors, dentists, etc...so I always make a huge-o deal about how great it is that we are going to have whatever type of exam we are going for. I mean honestly, I could make a colonoscopy sound like a trip to the circus if I had to...) So off we went and we waited....filled out the papers....waited....got sent to another waiting room....waited....and finally it was our turn to see the doctor. Like I said, Blake was eager to be seen and I was too. There was only a moments hesitation on my part when the first thing she wanted him to do was put his chin/forehead against this machine and I thought...Panic of Panic....not the dreaded "eye puff". (O.K. people, I know you've seen the Friends episode and I am sure most of you have had first hand experience with it) If anything is gonna freak this kid out it will be blowing anything INTO his eye. I only had to suffer in silence for a minute though, until I realized it was simply going to be a light to check eye health. Disaster averted....Whew....Go ahead, shine all the high intensity laser beams you want into my child's eye, anything but the "puff"!

The rest of the exam went ahead without incident. Blake was very cooperative and upbeat. He even did a small jig/cheer when she announced that he indeed needed glasses. Yeah.....When Rob got home from work we all went out together and had him try on glasses and picked out the perfect pair for him. They were even able to make them right away, so that he was all set for school today! I sent him off this morning with his glasses, cleaning cloth and my own personal arsenal of "4-eyes" rebuttals, just in case..... Tune in next week to see how Abbey's appointment goes. I can hardly wait.

Check out my Facebook page for the other photos.....

Sniff...Sniff....Is that you Papa?

They say that the sense of smell is one of the strongest memory triggers. I would tend to agree. At our house, the smell of coffee means Papa is in town. (I can’t be certain, but I am pretty sure that there is a mathematical proof that supports this. Mathematicians at MIT and Cal-Sci are still working out the bugs, but…. I think it is called the “Papa-radic” Equation, X + Y = Z, where X is Papa, Y is ANY type of coffee and Z is Happy and in town….) All I have to do is pull out the coffee pot and the kids start asking, “Is Papa here? Is Papa here?” or we casually walk past a Star Bucks and immediately, they ask, “oh…is Papa in there?” Rob and I even tricked them once by lighting a coffee scented candle….cruel, I know…
Well anyways, hide your Folgers people, Papa is indeed in town and we are having a great time! Roger and Deb arrived on Monday afternoon from North Dakota and we have kept them hopping ever since. They were at the school to meet the twins on Monday and the kids were so happy to see them. We headed home and everyone played outside for a bit while I got the Spaghetti going. After supper, Rob, Papa and Blake went up to hit some golf balls, where Papa was kind enough to demonstrate his “windmill” technique, over…and over….and over…. Blake is giving him some pointers.
Deb took the other kids out for a walk around the neighborhood….or somewhere….Now Deb is a self-proclaimed “directionally-challenged” person, which I might have considered more seriously before sending her off to blindly follow a six year old and a 15 month old. They were gone for quite a while. Apparently Deb thought Abbey knew where they were going and Abbey thought Deb knew where they were going…so you see the problem. Fortunately, mere seconds before Deb was forced to stand in the street, holding Kasey high above her head shouting "Does anyone know where this baby lives?!", a friendly gentleman pointed her back to our street....Upon their return, Rob suggested a handheld GPS for her next expedition, my vote was for the under-the-skin locater chip....

The fun just keeps coming with more golf, hockey games, soccer games and the twin's Spring Music Program. We even enjoyed a nice round of "Spaceman" the other night. In this game, everyone takes turns putting on Papa's Sleep Apnea Machine Mask and saying "I'm a spaceman! I'm an astronaut!" while I photograph....good times, good times....

It's great to have them here. They really help with entertaining the kids. And my job? Well that's easy.....just keep the food coming.....

Yes, I'll admit it, I'm a big faker........

Today was the blood drive at Kempton Elementary where Blake and Abbey go to school. Abbey has been especially looking forward to this day. She has been asking for weeks, "Is it the blood drive yet? Is it? Huh? Is it?" The students, being too young to donate, are "sent forth" into their homes and neighborhoods to try and wrangle up some legal doners. I am not sure what her fascination is with it. Could it be the cheap-o Jr. Blood Donor ruler she was promised, the potential pizza party or was she really concerned for her fellow man? (My money's on the ruler) My first response had been, "Can't I just buy a candybar or something?" But no, they wanted blood..... o.k. then...ROB!!!!

So, when Rob got off of work he came by and picked up the twins and they headed over to the school to donate. After filling out a number of forms and answering some questions, it was decided that he was inelligible to donate. Something to do with his recent trip to Africa.

Well, this brought Abbey to tears. She came home and was sobbing...I couldn't make out all the words, but I know I heard, "blood, pizza, and ruler" amidst the blubbering (told ya!) So what does any good mommy do in this situation? That's right ,I popped a banana, guzzled a soda and took my cryin' kids right back over to that school!

Then it was my turn to fill out all the forms and answer the questions....where it was determined that I too was inelligible to donate....indefinetly....something about living in the UK in the early 80's and Mad Cow Disease. I swore to them that I hadn't eaten a hamburger between 1980 and 1985, but that didn't matter to them. I was inelligible...disaster.....Fortunately, all of this transpired behind the "privacy" screen so the kids didn't know what was going on yet. Even more fortunately, I possess both a flair for the dramatic AND absolutely no shame, so I was able to talk a couple of nurses into staging a "fake" donation for the twins' benefit. When everything was in place and the kids were anxiously awaiting "the draw", the nurses brought me out to the table, layed me down, swabbed me, put out a number of vials and some tubing, waved a needle at me and then produced a vial of some stranger's blood for the kids to "ooh" and "ahh" over. We topped it off with a band-aid, and I even complained of a little light-headedness when I sat up..... just for effect.....

Gretzky...uh..No, Improving...YES!

When it comes to sports, Blake is more of a loner...a rebel....He absolutely loves being active and playing sports. It's the "team" part of sports that he is not a fan of. So swimming, biking and tumbling he handled fine. And this boy could hit golf balls all day! But when we had him do a stint in soccer, he was completely not into it (to Rob's horror). For example, he would stand out there on the field and pull grass, look at passing birds and planes and watch the ball roll past him. He never complained, he simply said that he didn't like it because he couldn't have the ball all the time. We even tried a little bribing technique that I like to call the "Candy Corn Con". I would sit on the sidelines with a big bag of candy corn (he loves that stuff) and everytime he touched the ball at all (or the ball touched him, which was a little more common) I would put a piece of candy corn in another little bag for him. That may be the only way we made it through the season. In Blake's perfect soccer game, EVERYONE would have a ball and use them at the same time. I told him....uh, that's called practice. He told me, he likes practice!

So after that, Rob thought to himself, "What is the MOST expensive team sport that we can "test" on him next?..Oh, Hockey!"So off they went to get him outfitted with all his gear. Honestly though, Rob put in a lot of work over the last few months, taking him to learn to skate and free-skate sessions so that he would be ready for this. And you know what? He was (to Rob's relief). He has had several practices and 2 games so far and he is LOVING IT! I was worried that when he realized that there is only 1 puck when the game starts that he would be upset, but he's not. He skates really hard and even got an "assist" the other day. I guess all he needed all along was a long, wooden implement to hack his way through the crowd...I'll keep that in mind just in case he ever wants to try soccer again...(ouch)

P.S. Rob, hoping to indoctrinate Cole at an earlier age, took him to a free-skate session yesterday. He had him in full dress, breezers, helmet, pads, etc...and he just layed on the ice like a slug....(Poor Rob).

Hickory Joe and the Sunroom of Doom...

I would consider myself an animal lover. I mean, I'm not posing nude for a PETA ad or anything, but I'll pet your cat, your dog, even your cow. I'm not picky. That was until the day I met....(gulp) Hickory Joe....

As you know we visited my parents in Iowa over the Easter Holiday. Butchie, our Boston Terrier, is an excellent traveler and loves spending time at Omi's house too. So as usual he came along on the trip. Since our last stay in Iowa, my parents got a cat....well a kitten...actually, a monster... His name is Hickory Joe. Hick for short. We really didn't think that the cat/dog combo was going to be a problem. In my experience, Butch sniffs the cat, the cat jumps up on something high and hisses from a distance, case closed. That is what was supposed to happen. Here's what actually happened...

Rob (poor unsuspecting Rob) set up "the meet" by closing himself, Hickory AND my mother into the sunroom. He thought that if disaster struck, at least this way it would be contained. Good Plan. He then let Butchie in by way of the sliding glass door. Bad Plan....I'll say this much for Hickory, he's a fighter...Upon meeting Butch, the cat hissed of course, and then proceeded to ATTACK the dog! Rob, completely caught of guard, intervened and was able to get the cat off the dog, but not without first having the arm of his sweatshirt shredded. Once detached from the dog, Hickory went into a "flying banshee" routine of sorts, which found him hanging from the walls, the curtains and my mother's stomach and legs (yes, we lost 2 more pieces of clothing and some skin). Finally, we were able to get my mom, Rob and the dog extracted from the sunroom. Then we all stood dumbfounded, looking in through the glass doors at this cat, who now has a tail the size of a feather duster.

It was at that moment that my brother, Paige, came in. Now, although my brother is heavily trained and carries a gun and badge, he is deathly afraid of anything that flies. (You should see him around bees and "woe" to the pigeon who flies too low!) So of course, he was the obvious choice to send in next to try to calm the "flying cat". He didn't actually scream like a girl, but he was back out pretty quick... Probably about an hour or so after the episode began and the children were all barricaded upstairs, for their own safety, Paige (armed with a towel) was able to get Hickory into the basement. Where he remained for the duration of our stay. As a second line of defense, Abbey was kind enough to make this poster which she affixed to the basement door as a WARNING TO ALL....

Be gone....before someone drops a house on you too!

Weird. I took the "Which Wizard of Oz Character are You?" Quiz on Facebook and I could have sworn it said that I was either a member of the Lollipop Guild or a Flying Monkey. Oh Well. I just happen to have some great socks to go with this broomstick....really.

While we were with my parents in Iowa, they took us to this cute little Swedish Village called Bishop Hill. Very small, but a great place. We started out at the Bakery,where I was very tempted to instigate a "bake-off" with the head baker, but managed to control myself. Then it was off to visit several of the local shops. One shop housed the local weaver, potter and broomstick maker. Uhh...not to be confused with the butcher, the baker and the candlestick maker, that's next door... Anyways, I own this broom now. Apparently, it's bad etiquette to get so "familiar" with something and then not pay for it... We really enjoyed browsing all of the handmade items and getting to be out in the sunshine. It was so nice in fact, I rode my broomstick all the way back to my folks house....da duh, da duh, da duh, duh duh!!!

Check out more of the Easter in Iowa photos on my Facebook page!

Here Come Da.....Eggs!

They're everywhere! They're everywhere! Ahh Easter....A time to reflect on the Lord's love, his ultimate sacrifice and of course Eggs... Our "worldly" Easter festivities kicked off last weekend and just haven't stopped. The windows are donned with kid-colored Easter Eggs, the Bunny is on the door and the boughs of the Easter Tree have been adorned (well, just a couple of the boughs. I give the kids all these ornaments and they put them all on the same branch...whatever). At our house Easter Time usually means Craft Time. I can just smell the glue and glitter in the air! Pipe Cleaners, Mini-Pom Poms and colorful felt abound! I mean we honestly can't get enough of it....This week we have made, among other things, bunny lanterns, all the FREE Easter printables you can imagine and Abbey also managed to churn out an entire army of plastic egg pets. We are really on a roll! Last night was the baking/decorating of the egg-shaped sugar cookies. The kids did this themselves....it is very difficult for me to relenquish control of the sprinkles, but in the end, they over took me...and so now after multiple sweepings and vacuumings I am still stepping on colored sugar balls...arg! Today we kept the fun going with the "baptizing of the eggs" and several rounds of "Who can pick up the most plastic eggs before Mommy loses her mind?" Good Game. There has only been one crafting disaster that had to be cut short. It's still too painful to talk about...all I will say is that it involved balloons being precariously suspended from the ceiling light and lots of paste...don't make me say anymore...

Checkout my Facebook page for ALL the photos!

Lord, Where are you when I need you?

And he said unto me,"Riding Shotgun in your cupholder!" We have this Easter Playset, nothing gruesome, just the Resurrection Scene. My mom finds this stuff, I don't know where, but the kids love it. Last year, some of you may recall, several fights broke out among the children because everybody wanted to "be" Jesus. He's a popular guy... O.k. So this set has an empty tomb, 2 Roman Soldiers, a couple Marys, an angel (who is currently headless...I have the head and will attempt a reattachment later...) and the Man himself. Today, Cole had to take something for show and tell that represents why we celebrate Easter. After wrestling the chocolate bunny and plastic eggs away from him, he decided that he would take Jesus and the empty tomb. Fine, but of course I forgot it while I was busy herding everyone out the door this morning. Upon our arrival at school, he was quite disappointed, so I told him that I would go home and bring it to him at lunch time. And that's how the Christ ended up next to my cell phone and tic tacs (he actually prefers wintergreen). I'll be honest, it was a little strange and I kept feeling the need to talk to him. So I did. He didn't talk back, but I do feel like he thinks he was being funny when the song "Jesus Take the Wheel" suddenly came on the radio. Coincidence? I think not...

I AM......the Artisan

Well, you can all thank my lovely sister, Lisette, for this one. For my birthday she sent me a book called Artisan Bread in Five Minutes a Day. When I opened it, my inital thought was, "Yeah Right, like I'll ever be able to do this." I have never made REAL bread before. Any bread I make calls for tons of sugar, tubs of icing or at the very least a banana. I don't even own a bread machine! (amazing how this One-Time use Christmas gift seemed to pass me by) Then, they don't even want me to use a pan? Free-Form??? Yikes! Anyways, after two weeks I finally relented and picked up the book. After reading the first few pages, I was like Great Balls of Flour! this is gonna be easy..... and delicious. So, armed with my dough hook and my shiny new pizza peel I set to work crafting the "Master Loaf". I am now officially licensed to freely use words like "gluten-cloak" and know what I'm talking about! It was so easy and looked amazing. Unfortunately, it is not pictured here though, because at the very minute that it came out of the oven, Rob got home. I am not sure what happened next....I remember a clattering of silverware, a grab for the butter dish and then it all went dark. When the flour finally settled he AND the loaf were gone...Loosen your belts, I've got more dough!

Monkey See, Monkey Do.....Monkey Pie?

Although I am an avid baker, I have never made a simple recipe for Monkey Bread before. The hardest part really is just catching the monkeys. Well, last night Rob "extracted" Cole for a 1-on-1, so to squelch the "That's not fair..." uproar from the others, I told them that they could make some Monkey Bread. So Blake, Abbey, Kasey and I donned our aprons and got up to our elbows in cinammon and sugar. I let the twins do almost all of the work. Abbey got to use a sharp knife, while Blake wielded a "not as lethal" pizza cutter for cutting up our biscuits. I warned Abbey that she had to be VERY CAREFUL. Fingers don't grow back, you know...Blake, being the caring brother, assured her that if she were to cut off her finger that he knows a place where they have "extras" and they would fix her up. (Last month the twins were with Rob at Wright & Filipis Medical Supply. The owner found out that Rob was a Dr. and offered to give he and the kids a tour of the "back", this includes all the prosthetics, etc.. Creep-Out!) But no fingers were lost. The only injury was when Kasey whacked me in the knee with an enormous wooden spoon. Rob and Cole arrived home just in time for the unveiling. Then everyone sat around the table with big glasses of milk and monkey-ed it up! It was so good in fact, that Cole snuck down after bedtime and asked "Where the Monkey Pie was?" and sneaked a knub up to bed with him. Disclaimer: No real monkeys were harmed in the baking of this bread.....

Burn, Baby, Burn....

On Saturday I spent the day at the Grace Baptist Ladies Event. It was a wonderful day. I attended 3 sessions: Organizing Basics, Pottery Painting and You May Or May Not Make It Out of Here Alive (a.k.a. Soap Making). Let me just say that I only signed up for Soap Making because my other friend wanted to be in it, but of course, she didn 't end up being in my class.... The first sign of trouble was when Nancy and I looked into the classroom window and saw lots of safety goggles and rubber gloves. She says, "Huh...Looks like a high school science lab in there". I agree, but am more concerned about the fashion disaster that I am in safety goggles and the permanent notch that they leave embedded in the top of my nose. So I go into the class, find my station and look down at all my materials, which, to my delight..., include something with a huge SKULL AND CROSS BONES Label attached. Oh, Brother..... Lye, people, it's Lye. Burning, irritation, don't inhale....and I was wearing my good jeans! The class proceeds and we all stand around stirring our "buckets o'death" when it is time to decide what type of scent the soap will be. There were 3 choices, we all had to make the same scent, so we voted. Cucumber Melon won. Totally Fair....but not for some. I am telling you that an absolute brawl almost broke out between a number of "older" church ladies. It was getting pretty ugly. All the while I am standing there smiling and thinking, "You are going to go home and rub this on your "nether-regions" surely anything smells better than that!" Finally, we were able to talk-down the fiestiest of ladies by just letting her smell the other choices. That seemed to work. I made it out in one piece with my 2-lb bar of Cucumber Melon soap and was able to cut it up last night. Now it has to dry, but will be ready for human consumption, I mean, usage, in 5 weeks. Mark your calendar people, shower at my house!

Mmm...Don't you just love the smell of fresh rubber in the morning?

My crusade against mud and dirt continues... I don't always like to let the kids out in the yard right away in the Spring time because the ground is so wet. It's not that I mind washing their shoes...It's just that incessant banging in the dryer, so that they will be dry for school the next day, that I can't stand. (Note: the shoes are in the dryer, not the kids) So, in honor of Spring and our wet, icky yard, the kids have all earned brand new pairs of rain boots. Stylish aren't they? Although this makes them candidates for their very own episode of "What Not to Wear", the kids all seem very excited about their new footwear. Abbey wore hers the entire first day that I brought them home, even with her nightgown. Cole and Blake continue to wear their's on the wrong feet, no matter how many times I show them. And Kasey, who is new to walking herself, looks like a little bow-legged cowboy, who has had 1 too many...if you know what I mean...

Out of Africa....In with the DIRT!!

Well he made it home safe and sound. Blake and I went down to Detroit on Saturday to meet Rob's plane and bring him home, while Abbey, Cole and Kasey stayed home and made the Welcome Home posters. Oh, we brought him all right, along with a ton of African dirt which seems to be on EVERYTHING! It's this "orangeish" clingy dirt from whence there is no escape. It is particularly bad on the inside ankles of his pant legs, even after repeated scrubbings. I have pulled out my arsenal of laundry cleaning supplies and my trusty copy of "How to Clean Practically Anything", but was unable to find a listing for Uber-Clingy African Orange Dirt. Oh, well. The amazing experience he had in Galmi was definitely worth a couple pairs of Dockers. I have really enjoyed hearing about his time there. He came home bearing great gifts, as well as some fantastic pictures. Well, I've gotta get back to that dirt. My next attempt involves a secret recipe I have concocted that includes a bottle of Resolve, some Drain-O, Lemon Juice and a small flame thrower. Don't want to give too much away...I'll let you know how it turns out.

Curious Cole and his identity crisis...

Cole has been a curious little fellow this week. The conversations I have with him are so funny, but often make me wonder...

Tangent Alert:

In my toothbrush holder I have one of those Reach Flossers, you know, "floss on a stick". Let me just say that I have it there just so people will THINK I am dedicated to flossing, however, I am not. I may in fact be the world's worst flosser. This "floss on a stick" is supposed to make it more convenient for me and the other anti-flossers out there, but alas...it does not. (tsk...tsk...from Kara, I know).

Now back to Cole:

As I am getting ready the other day Cole comes into the bathroom and we have the following exchange:

Cole: Hey Mom. What is this?

Me: It's for your teeth. It cleans between them, like a toothbrush.

Cole: Hmm? Does it pick your teeth out?

Me: No, just between them.

Cole: I want to pick all my teeth out with this, so that I will grow big teeth and talk like a MAN!

Me: Ouch....

Another day this week, Cole came through and said:
Cole: What is that black thing on your leg?
Me: That's a tattoo.

Cole: A Ta-Poo?

Me: No, a tattoo.

Cole: Did you get it at the tattoo place, where they put tattoos on your legs?

Me: Yes.

Cole: When I get big, I am going to go to the tattoo place and get a tattoo so that I can be a GIRL!

Me: No...No...

The Magical Mystery Shower

We have 2 showers in the house. The new downstairs shower, which is MINE, and then the main level shower, which now belongs to the kids. The children get a little leary and seem to scatter when it's bath time, because they know it is going to be a "crap-shoot". Yes, we call it "Crap-Shoot Shower" (not THAT type of crap, the Vegas kind...). The water in this shower has a mind of it's own. No matter how I adjust it, it will randomly change while I am washing the kids. I mean, of course you can set it to either Arctic Blast or Boiling Lava, but anything in between is a risk. I have made sure that the washer is off, no toilets are flushed, etc...but it doesn't matter. So when the kids get in, we usually start with a little jingle, that goes like this, "Will it be hot? Will it be cold? That's the mystery...nobody knows". And then we begin...There is the usual shower lingo, "My eyes! My eyes!" and "Do I have to wash everywhere?", but then comes the "HOT, HOT, HOT!!" and everyone runs screaming to the other end of the tub while I try to readjust. It's such a pain and I feel bad....but it's just a little bit funny too.....

I triple dog dare you....

Oooooh Yeah....I've still got it! After the birthday Sunday night, Abbey still had enough energy to repeatedly try to do a handstand. She'd go up and then back down, up and then back down and she would count as fast as she could the whole time. It was funny to watch her. When she saw me watching, she said she bet I couldn't do it, because I was "big". Challenge Extended....Now it was ON..... like Donkey Kong. Challenge Accepted....

So I proceeded to "Wow" the kids with a few acrobatic feats, while they cheered me on. For the grand finale my mom and I reenacted the Dirty Dancing "Lift". The part of Patrick Swayze being played by Omi. Unfortunately, that left no one to take the picture. It was great. We had the time of our lives....

Super-Duper Double Birthday Fun!

Yesterday was the twin's birthday. They turned 6 years old. The time goes by so fast that I could hardly believe it, so I had to count my stretch marks just to be sure (like growth rings on a tree). Sure enough...they are 6. We had a fantastic M & M's theme party at the Saginaw Children's Museum. They played a number of games, made crafts, ate some fun food and also got to enjoy all the museum exhibits. Needless to say Omi and I were exhausted by the days end, but it was well worth it. Fun was had by all. We only had one cryer (not mine) and one party etiquette blunder (unfortunately mine....) "Mom, we already have this game!!"repeat...repeat...repeat...).

Check out my Facebook for more great party pics!

Good Times...Great Friends!

Not only is Omi in town this week, but so are some other great friends of ours. Jerel has been a lifelong friend of Rob's. He has been in Saginaw for the past month doing a rotation at the hospital. Lisa, Baby Samuel and Joyce (wife, son, mother) have recently joined him to do some house hunting, as they will be moving here in June. We have been able to spend alot of time together and it has been loads of fun. Bonus: Omi and Joyce haven't seen each other for about 6 years, so they had a wonderful time catching up, while the rest of us tended to all the children....So last night was one final visit before they are off to North Dakota tomorrow. The night went fine until a small fight, then chase ensued, but I was FASTER and was able to get away with my mixing bowl/spoon and throw together a 1/2 batch of peanut butter blossoms to enjoy before they left! I'm telling you...it's a sickness.....

Omi's Back in Town...

Can I get a "whoop! whoop!"? There was excitement at the house today as we anxiously awaited the arrival of my mom, Omi, from Iowa. She has come to visit and help out while Rob is away. Omi always arrives with this big basket of treats and surprises for the whole family. It is so fun to watch her hand out everyone's goodies. Some of the top favorites this time are a magnetic map (includes Africa), glitter twirling batons (which will inevitable turn into swords) and a can of easy spray cheese. This "easy cheese" seems of great interest to Cole, who managed to get away with it last night. Fortunately, I found him before he could get into it with some child safe scissors (good luck with that...) I am sure we will have a wonderful time during her visit. She is always such a tremendous help to me. You know, even mommies, need their mommies sometimes...

A pair of jeans that fits just right...

Have you heard the song "Chicken Fried" by the Zac Brown Band? Well, I like it. It makes me smile everytime I hear it. There is a line in the chorus that says "...a pair of jeans that fits just right..and the radio on..". Apparently my 3 year old son likes it too. Today he came into the kitchen with his little Levi's almost on and says to me, "Hey Mom! Here's MY pair of jeans that fits just right. Can we have fried chicken for dinner?" I about fell in the floor laughing. I will admit that we are a "Crank It, Rock It and Dance in the Kitchen" family, but I honestly didn't think that he'd had much exposure to this song. Just goes to show...they are ALWAYS listening...

Happy Birthday Dr. Seuss!

Turns out that today is Dr. Seuss's Birthday. Any excuse to party, you know. The kid's celebrated at school with a Read-a-thon, R.I.F., popcorn and their principal dressed in full Cat in the Hat regalia..which I will say was a little disturbing to Abbey, who was then worried that "the cat" was in our garage when we got home. Well, we just couldn't let the fun end there so we did a little celebrating of our own at home. Ta-Da! Look at our delicious green eggs and ham! Abbey helped with the cooking and plating, while the boys just hopped around the kitchen screaming, "Sam I am! Sam I am! Sam I am!" Good Times....

Hey, Wait a Second...That's not Fun Dip!

I have a small addiction.....Nothing illegal or potentially life threatening, but an addiction nontheless. On Valentine's Day Rob came home with this economy box of Fun Dip. Apparently he insisted that some poor soul venture into the bowels of the Rite-Aid stockroom in search of a brand new, unopened box. He then set to work checking for full "stick-stability"...I hate it when the sticks are broken..... So he brings home this box and I am thinking "Oh Boy" and was perfectly satisfied with my Valentine's gift. Well, over the last week Rob has been insistant, almost to the point of annoyance, that I eat the Fun Dip faster. I'm thinking...geez, it's not bad enough that you're an enabler, but just give me a couple days...Finally, on Friday night, he couldn't take it any longer and had me rummage through the box. My real Valentine gift was a gift certificate for a massage, buried within the Fun Dip. He was so worried that it would get lost while he was gone on his trip. He also acted mildly offened that I thought that all he would get me for Valentine's Day was the candy!

Ship To: Galmi, Niger, AFRICA

And he's off! Today Rob left on a Medical Missions trip to Niger, Africa. He is so excited and appreciative of the support that he has received in order to go on this adventure. The last couple of days have been busy with final preparations which included copying, banking and several Emergency Wal-Mart Runs. (These are in addition to the DAILY pilgrimages I make to "the Big Box"...). Last night we did the actual packing, which was loads of fun. Rob spent a lot of time on the scale while holding a variety of very heavy luggage. Then he'd hop off and we would reconfigure and discuss the possible options...

~Do you think that you using the bathroom will have any effect on the weight of your luggage? No?

~Rob, honestly.....clothes are so overrated in Africa....you probably don't really need ANY of these pants.

~If the square root of 9 is 3 and x is equal to 7, then.........

~Hmm...perhaps if we took out 1 sock, a battery and squeeze out 1/2 the tube of toothpaste, you will make weight.

In the end we were able to fit in the necessities and send him off without having to leave too much behind...except for the pants of course.

Uhh..Cole, did you see which way Gumby went?

So sorry, Pokey. There was nothing I could do.

Yesterday was our little neighbor girl's 4th birthday. She was sweet enough to bring over cupcakes for our family and you'll never guess what color icing they had.

Cole and cupcakes are always a challenge. He eats the top 1/4 without any problem, but then fights me on the "stump" consumption.

I mean I actually run drills with him before I give him a cupcake. It usually goes something like this..

Me: What are you gonna do?

Cole: eat the cupcake.

Me: I can't hear you.

Cole: EAT THE CUPCAKE!

Me: How much of the cupcake?

Cole: all of it.

Me: I can't hear you.

Cole: ALL OF IT!

etc...etc....

And then I tend to give up and just give him icing on a spoon.

Tea for 2 or 200?

Kasey is obsessed with my pantry. She is immediately drawn to it. If it is open even a crack, she knows it. It's like a baby pantry "sixth sense" or something...minus the dead people, I think... She must like it because there are so many things at her level in there. She frequently moves the cans around and her favorite is taking all the ziploc bags out of their boxes. I know, I know, very unsafe. It looks like she has found something new to unpack. One lump or two?

Behold....The Braid

I like to bake. Let's be clear...I like to BAKE, not COOK. I have this theory that all of life's problems can be solved with baked goods. Oh, you're having a party? I can make dozens of cookies for that! You stubbed your toe? Good thing I have this pie in my purse! Your car won't start? Here have a cupcake! World Peace? No problem, I have just the recipe.....

Today was my table's day to bring food for our Mops Group and so I got to make an Apple Danish Braid and German Chocolate Cupcakes. I'll show you my braid, but the cupcakes weren't very pretty. Tasty, but not very pretty. Ding! Oh good, the banana bread is done. Always be prepared!

A little self-inflicted punishment is good for the soul.

My kids got in some big trouble yesterday. Apparently, while Rob and I were out on Friday night, they were extremely bad for our babysitter. So we had a "sit-down" with them and created a list of suitable punishments for the 3 older ones, which included spending a significant portion of Saturday in their room, among other things... When I took them up to begin the "banishment" I even prayed with them, asking God to help them be on better behavior and to get along with each other. Turns out Abbey (5) was especially convicted, because she spent her entire time copying from her Beginner's Bible and emerged with 12 pages of scripture! She told me she was "studying" Jesus. Bless her heart. Her efforts produced the first 4 days of Creation. Although I think she could have used a little Ephesians 6:1, a truth's a truth, right?

And 3 grew back in it's place...

Ok. So here I am, mere weeks from turning the big "3-0" and what do I find lurking on my head this week? You guessed it, my first gray hair. I wasn't even intentionally scrutinizing myself for signs of aging, it just appeared, which was even more upsetting.

So here's what I did....

1.) Resisted the urge to slump down next to the toilet and cry.
2.) Slumped down next to the toilet and cried.
3.) Readjusted the 3-way mirror and lighting just be certain.
4.) Yelled for my husband to a.) confirm my fears, b.) take a picture for blog fodder
5.) Talked myself out of pulling it out...I think I've heard rumors...
6.) Started compiling a mental list of possible matching coverups that I had on hand: maple syrup, a melted chocolate bar, vanilla extract, etc...
7.) Tested said coverups.
8.) Lather, rinse, repeat....lather, rinse, repeat.
9.) Stole all my neighbors newspapers, just for their Nice 'n Easy Coupons.
10.) Accepted it, but prayed that God would give me anything but the "Don King" look.

Introducing the amazing Raccoon...I mean, Snack Trap!

Well this is a neat item to add to our arsenal of baby gear. Although originally invented hundreds of years ago for the purpose of catching raccoons, it has somehow made it's way into the feeding aisle of our local Babies R Us. It's official name is The Snack Trap, however, we have lovingly dubbed it the Baby Raccoon Trap. Kasey has been gracious enough to model it for us. It is a snack cup, with a soft plastic lid. The lid is cut in such a way to allow a child to put their hand in and get out a snack, however, even when turned upside down, the snack won't spill. We've even run a few tests to prove it. Today it has been vigorously shaken upside down, thrown and kicked across the room multiple times, as well as taken a trip down a flight of steps. It even seems to be impenetrable by our dog, Butch. However, this could be on account of his very short "snoot". Will try with a labrador at a later time...

Ice Cream for breakfast

Today when the kids got up, I told them that it was "Anything You Want For Breakfast" Day! They were extremely excited. The twins immediately knew that they wanted ice cream sandwiches, while Cole enjoyed a big bowl of cocktail peanuts. Kasey even got in on the action when she repeatedly refused her applesauce and said "eat" to a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. No worries, I will counteract it all with a carrot later....

We've got a "2419" in progress

I was in the baby room getting Kasey ready for the day, when my oldest son Blake came running in to say...

Blake: Mom! We've got a "2419" under the table! (like we're on COPS, or something)
Me: What's a "2419"?
Blake: A man exercising! Hurry!

and this is what I found when I looked under the table...

Bad Boys, Bad Boys. Whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when they come for you?

E - I - E - I - Waffles!

As if having waffles for dinner couldn't get anymore exciting....I have this fantastic waffle-maker that makes Farmyard Waffles. These are our latest "victims". The kids love them and it makes for some lively conversation around the dinner table.

"Cut the chicken's head off momma" and "I am about to eat cow bun-buns" are some of my favorites so far. I hope this thing holds up because I don't see how we could ever go back to a simple round. Pass the syrup please!

Ready, Set, Blog....

So I've got this new blog here....because Amanda made me....
No, seriously, I think this will be a great outlet for daily rants and raves. Lucky you. At the moment, all is quiet on the homefront. 2 at school and 2 napping. Disaster normally doesn't strike until between the hours of 4 and 5 pm when everyone is home. So stay tuned!

Our house is a very, very, very fine house.....

This is my house.
Six people and a dog live in this house.
We laugh in this house.
We cry in this house.
We scream in this house.
We love in this house.

Come on inside and let me introduce you to the craziness that is my "real" life. Everything you read here will be true. No names will be changed to protect the innocent, because honestly, no one here is innocent...